When You’re the Victim
It is painful to be sinned against, especially when those you love and respect lie about you, betray you, mistreat you, or manipulate you. We are disappointed when this happens at work or in some business transaction, but when it occurs in the church, it hurts deeply. This is not right. We get angry.
Jesus, our Savior, got angry, too. He flipped the money changers’ tables at the temple when they usurped the Gentiles’ place to pray and grew indignant when His own disciples blocked children from His blessing. There is a place for anger. It is the natural result when something or someone we love is attacked.
Of course, a great deal of my anger is because someone has attacked my precious ego, which, sadly, I love. For this anger I repent. But some of my anger is righteous. Abortion and euthanasia anger me, as well as willful promotion of false doctrine and practice.
The danger is that the sins that others have committed may knock me into a rut of bitterness. “Anger has the same shelf life as manna,” Pastor Scott Bruzek told me once. Hold onto anger for more than a day and it breeds worms and stinks. As Saint Paul teaches “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26-27)
Practically speaking this means we need to repeatedly pray for the Lord’s forgiveness of those who have sinned against us. I imagine that each day that Joseph woke up in Egyptian slavery he recalled again how his brothers sold him into slavery. Evidently, he must have forgiven them again and again, so that when they show up in need and he had the power to enslave or kill them, he instead serves them in love.
Some key points to remember.
There is only one innocent victim: our Lord Jesus Christ. When I am a victim, or when someone I love is sinned against, it is tempting to retaliate by sinning, seeking revenge, or holding a grudge. Instead, I first need to remember that my Lord has mercy on me and forgives me which enables me to distribute mercy and forgiveness.
Pray Psalms of Lament. When you or someone you love has been sinned against, talk to God about it. Pray psalms of lament, in which you cry out to God in your pain. Imprecatory Psalms are useful here: you are calling God to enact revenge and leaving it to Him, rather than acting yourself. It is like calling Triple Zero when you’ve been robbed or physically attacked. You let the police deal with the case. The Lord will use these Psalms to serve you[1].
Go and see your pastor. (Pastors need a pastor, too!) Talk about the injury and confess your desire for revenge, receive absolution from sin and cleansing from the shame of being sinned against. Let your pastor encourage you by the Lord’s care.
No human is my enemy. Saint Paul wrote, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12). We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, in other words, no human being is our enemy. Satan and the demons are fighting against us. Our real spiritual warfare is against the devil and the forces of evil. Of course, we cannot see this. But it is real. Consequently, being forgiven and loved by our gracious Lord who has won the battle against hell’s forces, we remain faithful to Him and seek to serve in love even those who have hurt us.
Satan hates you. But Jesus defends you. The Revelation of Jesus Christ to Saint John lets us in on why attacks happen in the church and to faithful Christians. In chapter 12 the warfare against Satan (the dragon) is revealed. He’s been cast down to earth and is very angry. Verse 17 lets us know who Satan’s target is: “those who keep (that is, treasure) the commandments of God and hold to the testimony of Jesus” (Revelation 12:17). You who treasure God’s law and confess the Gospel of Jesus, you are in Satan’s line of fire - you, your congregation, your family, indeed all of the LM-A for that matter. Satan has stirred up a storm of trouble aimed at faithful Christians. The battle is against him. Our only defence against Satan is our conquering Lord Jesus who enables us to overcome Satan by His blood, by the faithful confession of our gracious God (like we do in the Creeds), and by not loving our lives more than death (Revelation 12:11). Thus, regular reception of the Lord’s Supper and daily confessing the Creed is vital. Jesus fights for us. We receive His victory and joyfully proclaim it.
Rejoice you are not alone. Jesus asked Saul on the way to Damascus, “Why are you persecuting Me?” Saul, later Paul, was not attacking Jesus directly. He was persecuting Christians. But Jesus is letting you know, what happens to you, happens to Him. Jesus bears it with you. He knows. He loves you. You’re the apple of His eye. He has not forsaken you. He hears your lament, your cry of complaint. He defends you against the evil one. He works even this together for your good as you remain in Him.
You are working for Jesus. “It is the Lord who judges me.” Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 4:4. Pastors (and by analogy, all Christians) are working for Jesus. He calls us to be faithful, not necessarily outwardly successful. We are to please Him not the world, remembering that He is the merciful Lord who forgives the repentant and saves sinners. His resurrection is also the guarantee that in Him your labour “is not in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:58). It might feel and look like it, but it is not in vain.
By Pastor David Fleming
[1] Bonhoeffer identifies the following as Psalms of Lament: 13, 31, 35, 41, 44, 54, 55, 56, 61, 74, 79, 86, 88, 102, 105; and these as Imprecatory Psalms: 5, 7, 9, 10, 13, 16, 21, 23, 28, 31, 35, 36, 40, 41, 44, 53, 54, 55, 58, 59, 68, 69, 70, 71, 137.